June 29: for the Benefit of Carmen V., by herself

June 28: for the Supporters of In Viam Pacis, by Fr. Anthony

June 27: for a Private Intention by, Philip and Michaelina

June 26: for the Benefit of a Bereaved Family, by a friend

June 25: for the Benefit of Carmen V., by herself

June 24: for the souls of Simon and Jane Francis C., by Philip and Michaelina

June 22: for the Benefit of Mike, by his sister

June 21: for the Benefit of Victoria, by her Mom

June 20: for the souls of Jackson and Martin J, by Philip and Michaelina

June 19: for the Benefit of Carmen V., by herself

June 18: for the Intentions of Brian and Nancy, by Fr. Anthony

June 17: for the souls of Maria, Stephen, Alywin, and Thau Pui Pang, by Philip and Michaelina

June 15: for the Benefit of Louise G., by Deirdre

June 14: for the soul of Tang Ping Yui, by Philip and Michaelina

June 13: for the Benefit of Alison, by her Mom

June 12: for the souls of Terry’s aunt s and uncles, by Terry and Gabrielle

June 11: for living and deceased family members, by Philip and Michaelina

June 10: for the soul of Yolande, by Terry and Gabrielle

June 9: for the Unity of All Christians, by Philip and Michaelina

June 8: for the soul of Clauda, by Terry and Gabrielle

June 7: for the Benefit of John and Martha and Family, by Fr. Anthony

June 6: for All Souls in Purgatory, by Philip and Michaelina

June 5: for the Benefit of Paul, by his wife

June 4: for the soul of Robert and Family, by Terry and Gabrielle

June 3: for All Priests, by Philip and Michaelina

June 2: for Fr. Anthony’s Intentions, by Fr. Anthony

June 1: for the Repose of the soul of Della-Jean, by her daughter-in-law

May 30: for the Supporters of In Viam Pacis, by Fr. Anthony

May 29: for the soul of Nicholas T., by Jennifer S.

May 28: for the soul of Edel Quinn, by The Legion of Mary Our Lady of Guadalupe Presidium

May 27: For the souls of Pierre’s parents, Therese and Clement, by Terry and Gabrielle

May 25: for the Benefit of Jared, by his Dad Gerry

May 24: for the soul of Cecelia, and kindred, by her daughter Gisele

May 23: for the soul of Lionel, and kindred, by his daughter Gisele

May 22: for the soul of Terry and Family, by Terry and Gabrielle

May 21: for the soul of Tom M., by Fr. Anthony

May 20: for the soul of Marcel and Family, by Terry and Gabrielle

May 19: For the souls of Anita and Joe, and Mildred and Robert, by Fr. Anthony

May 18: for the Intentions of Tim and Irene, by Fr. Anthony

May 17: for the souls of deceased family members and in reparation through the generations, by Gerry

May 16: for the soul of John P., by Fr. Anthony

May 15: for Andrew and Family, by his brother Terry

May 14: for the Benefit of Fr. Anthony, by Fr. Anthony

May 13: For Lara’s Dad, by Fr. Anthony

 

Michael Voris is doing a very good job on many levels, yet he is unfortunately seen as an enemy in the eyes of many priests and bishops.  The reason this has happened is because so many priests and bishops are acting out of the dysfunctional codependency ways of dealing with crisis situations, namely, don’t trust and don’t talk.  Michael Voris intentionally breaks those unspoken rules, which, predictably, is met with hostility by many.  Voris “traps and exposes lies and falsehoods” through his Vortex videos and I applaud his efforts.  God bless and protect him.

Recently, ChurchMilitant.com has been assisting a former religious Sister to try to bring to light her experience and subsequent allegations of spiritually abusive cult-like dynamics in her former community.  I have left a comment in the comment section of that article, which I will post below.  First, here is the link to the article: https://www.churchmilitant.com/news/article/follow-up-letter-from-former-ive-sister

Now, here is my comment:

 

 

 

 

God bless this former Sister. The truth really does lead to freedom. As far as I can see from this article, she is on the right track. I think it can all be understood as untreated codependency. Untreated codependency can explain much of the abuse cover-up throughout the entire Church. For anyone willing to go a bit deeper than infiltration conspiracy theories and demonizing individuals, just research adult children of alcoholic syndrome and organizational codependency. Many of the attempted solutions, in recent past and also moving forward, are actually doubling down on the dysfunctional codependent controls, and are bound to have unintended detrimental effects.
The baby does not have to be thrown out with the bathwater, however. The Catholic Church is the Bride of Christ and Jesus is here, and He will never leave us. That being said, we all can recognize the devastating effects when a mentally ill person grafts his or her mental illness to religious concepts. Untreated codependency is a lot like that. When dysfunctional codependent ways are given religious language and made into rules, sometimes formally and sometimes unspoken, the result is detrimental to individuals and can rightly be labeled as spiritual abuse.
Keep speaking and exposing the truth, Church Militant. Exposing that which is being enabled through shame-based silence is essential in breaking the dysfunctional codependent cycle.
God bless. In Viam Pacis.

The solution is to treat codependency but it won’t happen.

Why won’t it happen?  Because very few individuals who operate out of codependency break through the denial that he or she has a problem.  For the codependent person, everyone else has a problem.  When a codependent person who lives out of perfectionism and work-a-holism takes a leadership position in an organization, they infect their sphere of influence with the same dysfunctional ways of behaving and thinking, and that becomes the lens to interpret reality.  Codependency is living out of particular coping mechanisms first learnt in dealing with volatile circumstances, often in the person’s childhood or with a volatile spouse.  These coping mechanisms become habitual and then are practiced in other areas of the person’s life.  In a work situation, the workplace then becomes overly stressful.  If a codependent person with a strong personality becomes a person of authority, the others, who are otherwise healthy, learn how to adjust to the boss, and in these adjustments they learn how to cope by unwittingly becoming codependent as well.  And so the cycle begins anew and is perpetuated.

How can a person break free from this codependency?  Sometimes when a person hits a bottom of sorts, through stress or burnout, such a person sometimes will get proper help.  Proper help can come through a very competent counselor or psychologist who may also direct the person to a recovery support group, such as Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) and/or Al-Anon and/or Codependents Anonymous (CODA).   With such recovery methods a person can learn how to live in a more healthy dynamic in personal and work related relationships.

Often enough, however, counselling sessions will help only to a degree and will not confront the codependency roots.  This is due in part because many persons who grew up in alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional families enter the helping professions, and many have not dealt with their own issues sufficiently.  Don’t get me wrong; counselling, especially cognitive behaviour therapy can and does help, but I contend that a concerted recovery program directly aimed at codependency recovery is more comprehensive.

Recovery from codependency is not easy however, especially because the codependent dynamics become entrenched in virtually all of the codependent’s human relationships.  This means that when the codependent person starts to change and practice healthy boundaries and seeks more mutually respectful relations with others, he or she will experience tremendous push-back from virtually every person who they have considered to be friends and trusted co-workers.  If the person perseveres however, recovery from codependency can and does occur, and the person discovers a level of freedom and happiness that was previously unimaginable.

Anyway, just like those who become addicted to various substances, a surprisingly small percentage of addicts ever find freedom and recovery from all aspects of their addiction, an even smaller percentage of codependents ever enter into any concerted program of recovery to deal directly with the issue of codependency.  If I were able to get honest answers from bishops and religious superiors, I am very confident that a high percentage had at least one parent who was either alcoholic or overbearing, or their parents.  So on one hand the situation is bleak.  We can expect codependent structures to continue in the Church and it is probably the rare religious community or diocese that will not have a large degree of dysfunction.  On the other hand, those individuals who do see and do seek recovery for himself or herself, can and will recover.  Then they will know in a new and profound way, that Jesus really does offer a peace that the world cannot give.  God bless.  In Viam Pacis.  Into the Way of Peace!

I met Fr. Larry Richards once when he came to Ottawa for a Men’s Conference.  He is a naturally charismatic and likable person.  He has helped, and continues to help I’m sure, many, many persons.  Over the years I have heard some things he has taught that I do not agree with, namely, his position on some objectively sinful behaviour between married persons that he has claimed is not necessarily sinful, and also his ‘pastoral’ approach to Catholics attending attempted weddings that we know are not going to be valid.  He also has given what I would consider bad advice to those who want to take a serious look at family of origin issues.  But overall, he is a very good priest.  Lately he has received some very public criticism for some things he has said, and it is becoming very messy.  In an attempt to help some persons, maybe even Fr. Larry himself, I decided to weigh in with my two cents worth in the comments section of a LifeSiteNews article.  After posting a very long comment, I had second thoughts and greatly edited my comment to replace the original.  Since then, some fellow commentators have replied to me and it looks like the comments on the article might be turning from anger into compassion.  I hope my posts helped in that regard.  You can follow the link to see the article and all the comments if you wish.  I will now post my original comment before I edited it.

Below is the original comment that I wrote in the comments section but is no longer there, and here is the link to the articleLife Site News article

 

The modern Church family has become highly dysfunctional. There is healing for members of dysfunctional families, but only for those willing to intentionally break the three unspoken but very rigid rules that keep the cycle continuing on the downward spiral, namely 1) To repress and suppress personal feelings, 2) To not trust yourself and to not trust others, and 3) To not talk about the real problem(s); the proverbial elephant(s) in the room.

I do not know anything about what types of help Fr. Richards has sought for himself, and for all we know he is seeking help for himself presently, but I have heard him flippantly dismiss and ridicule persons who sincerely seek healing for themselves due to family of origin issues. I recall him saying something like, ‘Get over it, your parents weren’t perfect and neither are you.’ Those are the types of things that I have heard others who grew up in an alcoholic home say when they don’t think they personally need any help, but would actually greatly benefit from a recovery program or therapy or 12 Step groups. It’s almost as if they are afraid, but that fear makes them put on a bold front. I empathize with Fr. Richards. He has openly spoken about his father’s alcoholism and his breakthrough forgiveness or final expression of love at his father’s deathbed, and I suppose the advice he has given to others to ‘just get over it’ is probably the advice that he has given himself. And this bad advice might be catching up with him.

An addict is often trapped in denial. An addict often cannot seem to see that he or she has a problem with dependency on his or her preferred substance. Persons who are also trapped in denial are those closely associated with an addict. Some of these persons sometimes are also addicts of one form or another, but they all become codependent to varying degrees, and this to their own detriment.

Addiction is often understood as a disease, and I agree. Codependent persons also suffer from a disease, and this we call codependency. The type of denial that codependent persons have is much more difficult to overcome than that of an addict, because the codependent person usually becomes very good at controlling things. Until they can’t. And then things like we see in the video within the above article start happening. Just for the fun of it, why not search for Adult Children of Alcoholic Syndrome and see if things start making a bit of sense. And then let each of us consider the log or the plank in our own eye.

The disease of addiction and the disease of codependency is actually deadly, but thanks be to God, it is treatable. But more often than not, most will never accept the help to become free. Confrontation is not usually well received from the inflicted person, but rather defiant denial and angry accusations are directed to those trying to help.

I think that many of the major present day problems in the Church can be understood as untreated addictions and untreated codependency. Consider the don’t feel, don’t trust, and don’t talk rules in respect to these Church problems: the same-s/x scandals and cover-ups, priests and bishops not preaching and teaching the entire Gospel, a climate of fear at all levels, and the inability to deal with the obvious unpredictability, inconsistencies, and contradictions from Francis and various cardinals, bishops, and priests. Then consider all the in-fighting and cruel ad hominem insults hurled between otherwise good Catholics. The reality is that every person is hurting deeply, including those persons who are inflicting great suffering on others.

To really find healing and freedom, I suggest we begin by taking Our Lord’s words seriously: “The truth will set you free.” Theological truth? Sure, but also the truth that is right in front of us that anyone with eyes to see can see. Acknowledge the problems. Do not deny them. Then, with love for all as the motive, intentionally break the dysfunctional rules.

Breaking the rules will have both negative and positive consequences. The negative consequences mostly involve being on the receiving end of the anger and resentment of whoever remains in denial. The positive consequences include finding a new freedom that those trapped in addictions and codependency could never otherwise imagine! But that freedom, for whoever might be actually still reading this post, is a real fruit of the Resurrection. Do you want a tangible religious experience of Jesus setting the captives free in this life? Do not be afraid to learn about addictions and codependency, and, if by the grace of God, you can identify with what you learn, then don’t be afraid to get the help that is available to anyone who looks for it. The result will be the gift that Jesus promised, and that is, a peace that the world cannot give! In Viam Pacis.

With Holy Week and then the Triduum and a few other things, I have not updated the Mass intentions for a while, so here I will list in reverse order Masses looking ahead to May 11th, and going back to April 15th.

May 11th: for Edward and family, by his brother Terry

May 10th: for the supporters of In Viam Pacis

May 9th: for the intentions of Rebecca and her fiance Peter, by Rebecca’s parents

May 8th: for Iva and family, by his brother Terry

May 7th: for the soul of Jack, by Chris

May 6th: for the soul of Gerry, by Rita H.

May 5th: for the benefit and intentions of Lisa, by her husband Vince

May 4th: for the souls of Terry’s grand parents

May 3rd: for the soul of Jack, by Chris

May 2nd: for the benefit and intentions of Lorie and Richard, by Suzanne

May 1st: for the soul of Gerry, by Rita H.

April 30th: for the souls of Olga and Ted, by their son Terry

April 29th: for the supporters of In Viam Pacis

April 27th: For the benefit and intentions of Bev P. by Suzanne

April 26th: for the soul of Jack, by Chris

April 25th: for the souls of Sylvio and Gerarda, by their daughter Gabrielle

April 24th: for the repose of the soul of Desmond, by Suzanne

April 23rd: for the soul of Gerry, by Rita H.

April 22nd: for Gabrielle’s cousins

April 17th: for Joe and family, by Terry and Gabrielle

April 16th, for the benefit and intentions my sister

April 15th: for the soul of Gerry, by Rita H.

 

This coming Sunday is Passion Sunday (because we read the Passion of Jesus) and is also known as Palm Sunday.  It is the beginning of Holy Week, the holiest religious week in the Christian calendar.

Let us enter into this week with truly reflective hearts.  If at all possible, let us put aside meaningless entertainment in favour of prayer.

This year, the thought occurs to me more than ever that the Head and the Body are not separated.  Jesus suffers with you and you suffer with Jesus, or at least Jesus invites you to be aware of this reality and He invites you to consciously suffer with Him.  The type of suffering that we ought to ponder is the suffering of the Blessed Virgin Mary, who stayed close to Jesus, and suffered as only a mother could suffer when she sees her son suffer.

The Church is suffering.  Big time.  Has for a while.  We might ponder that the Head is suffering because the Body is suffering.  We might ponder that Jesus is suffering with us, and that we are suffering with Him.  This is a great mystery.

Whatever your particular sufferings are, Jesus is there suffering with you.  This week especially, let us enter into the suffering of Christ.  Maybe it will seem like a long week.  Maybe we are afraid of that.  Be not afraid.  If we suffer with Him we will rejoice with Him!  Courage!  Be not afraid!  Forward!  March!  Let us also go up to Jerusalem!

 

Monday April 8th: For Christel, by Terry and Gabrielle

Tuesday April 9th: For the soul of Gerry C., by Rita H.

Wednesday April 10th: For the soul of Diane G., sister of Ellie, by Suzanne A.

Thursday April 11th: For Terry’s aunts and uncles and families

Friday April 12th: For the soul of Gerry C., by Rita H.

Saturday April 13th: For the soul of Jack M., by Chris F.

 

Can you kindly support the ministry of In Viam Pacis for $10 a month or more?




 

Monday April 1st: For Andre, by Terry and Gabrielle

Tuesday April 2nd: For the soul of Mac S., by Gert S.

Wednesday April 3rd: For the soul of Gerry C., by Rita H.

Thursday April 4th: For the soul of Bill L., by Kim J.

Friday April 5th: For Elsa, by Terry and Gabrielle

Saturday April 6th: For the soul of Gerald R. MacD., by his son Gerry MacD.

First, please consider including In Viam Pacis in your almsgiving this Lent.

Thank you!

March 25th: Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord: For the soul of Robert and the soul of his mother Ruth, by Fr. Anthony

March 26th: For Terry and Gabrielle’s Family

March 27th: For the benefit of Debbie O by Suzanne

March 28th: For the benefit of Geraldine, with a special intention, by Gerry M

March 29th: For the soul of Gerry C by Rita H

March 30th: For Joanne, by Terry and Gabrielle

I would not ask if it was not needed.

I have met many persons who are excited about the In Viam Pacis project.  I sincerely appreciate these genuine responses.  They are definitely encouragements to me.

I realize that for many persons, money is tight, so not everyone can give.

That being said, well wishes will not pay the bills.

If you can, please consider becoming a monthly supporter of In Viam Pacis.  You can cancel at any time.  One-time donations are also needed.

Thank you.  God bless.




To give through email transfer or by cheque, please send me an email by the form on the “Contact Us” page on this website, asking for the proper email address or mailing address.

Matthew 10:42

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+10%3A40-42&version=RSVCE

March 17th: 2 Masses were offered in 2 different parishes

March 18th: For a special intention, by Nathalie

March 19th: For the benefit and intentions of John B., by Fr. Anthony

March 20th: For the benefit and intentions of Paul, by his  sister Jennifer

March 21st: For a special intention, by Nathalie

March 22nd: For the intentions of Mary M., by Suzanne

March 23rd: For a special intention, by Nathalie